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Lyssa C
06 March 2010 @ 03:59 am
Funny thing happened on my way to posting in my journal... I turned off an episode of Supernatural to come and post, only to see at the top of my journal, "The Story So Far..." It makes me giggle, because I inadvertently ganked that from Supernatural, and ironically the moment I fell in love with / realized I was in love with the show... [[[The end of the first season, with the flashback vid set to 'Carry On My Wayward Son' - and still always my favorite part of the season]]] And now that I realize I did it, I'm still keeping it :)

You know pregnancy changes a lot of things in your life, but did you know it changes your taste buds too? [[Disclaimer: NO, that is not an announcement]] I am currently devouring my third mint - chocolate - cone - pop - drumstick - thingy since Thursday night. They are so friggen, deliciously awesome. However, I hate mint - with a passion. I have used kid's bubblegum, fruity toothpastes, or vanilla, or my current a weird orange Scope kind of toothpaste for as long as I remember, because I so gag at the idea of mint. However, since my last pregnancy I have had a weird soft spot for mint chocolate chip ice cream with its Andes candies flavor. Mmmm, yummm. How weird is that? Especially since I was last pregnant in the fall of 2006, and the craving persists. ***shrugs***

On a TTC note, I have been charting again, but it has mostly been diheartening. DH has not been very cooperative in doing his part, due to performance issues, weight gain that has made him out of shape, and worsening depression, but I can't get on him too bad about not stepping up when the opportunity arises (so to speak) because my charting is only telling me how cooperative my own body is not....

I'll have a few days of EWCM, followed by a temp spike that the next day (or a few hours later) drops completely away again. It's like my body keeps gearing up to ovulate, harder and harder each week, but can't make it over the hurdle. It's very, very frustrating.

I'll be 35 in a couple of months, and I know that women conceive older than that, I can't help but feel that my window of opportunity is closing. My ten year anniversary is this year. We have only ever used birth control in passing (some condoms in the beginning before we married, a month or two of birth control pills here and there as I have needed them to reset my cycles, etc. We did the whole clomid thing, only to find that I was resistant to it. While I may be able to get it covered, my problem isn't one of the ones listed for our insurance to cover IVF, and what if we did go through all of that only to miscarry again. Tha would suck majorly.

I'm thinking of adoption again, but really, I don't know if I am up to that kind of heartbreak again either, nor can we currently afford it.

I don't know - this turned out to be a lot more depressing than I thought it would be.

My jobs not going so bad three months in, though it has its days. It think about blogging about it, I just don't want to talk about it when I get home most of the time. Money's tight, but we are working on it, and settling into our new home. I'm trying to plan for grad school as soon as I finish paying off the $3500 I owe on my bachelor's degree.

Keebler's "Wheatables" Nut Crisp (Roasted Almond) crackers are surprisingly good. 16 crackers have 19 net carbs, and 3g protein, 6g fat, but they do taste good.

This entry was originally posted at lyssac.dreamwidth.org. Please comment there using your OpenID / livejournal username.
Lyssa C
01 December 2009 @ 03:25 pm
I have been working my butt off the last few weeks in preparation for graduation, and that is why I have been largely absent. Today, some of that work paid off.

I have been working on getting a job, and last week I week I had an interview at a hospital a little over an hour south of here. As desperate as I have been to get any job (I got rid of our cell phones for a pay as you go phone last month, our cable internet was shut off this morning and we are behind on our rent desperate...) I REALLY wanted this job, because it seemed like a really good fit.

Today, I got the call for my background check, and tomorrow I go to do my drug screen/meet with human resources. I'll be making about $35,000 a year, with benefits starting the first day (insurance after 30 days).

This was such a huge relief - I am practically giddy. Now, I just have to finish up all of my assignments by Monday so that I can actually graduate.

This entry was originally posted at lyssac.dreamwidth.org. Please comment there using your OpenID / livejournal username.
Lyssa C
07 November 2009 @ 11:12 pm
I'm mostly tired, and a little sore, but feeling better, I think. I am still drowning in homework that is going to take a miracle to complete, and bills that are likewise, but the excruciating pain has mostly past.

Because I am the queen of procrastination, and always looking for something to do, even when I already have 50 million things, and I'm looking for a bit of distraction/fun, and these bite-sized graphics are a good fit. So, for an indefinite length of time, I am taking requests for the following:

1) Signature blinkies - personalized or general. (see my left sidebar, even though I didn't make all of those)

* I :heart: ????
* Due in [Month]
* zodiac sign
* Breastfeeding/Other parenting milestone
* Sports teams
* Whatever you can think of...

2) Icons
Must be 100x100, under 40k, preferably not animated, but exceptions can be made.

* Same subjects as above
* Actor/Actesses
* Quotes
* Pop culture (ie. Starbucks)
* Stock Images
* Whatever you can think of...

I can google images for icons, or you can provide me with 2-3 to choose from.
Limit a total of 3 blinkies/icons per person, unless there are no pending requests, then you can place another order after your previous order is filled.

Samples of previous work available upon request.

This entry was originally posted at lyssac.dreamwidth.org. Please comment there using your OpenID / livejournal username.
Lyssa C
06 November 2009 @ 08:00 pm
This week's questions are from Suzy @ Not a Fertile Myrtle, and the theme seems fitting, because Katy Perry has been singing the soundtrack in my head this week.

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

1) Which one is more irritating- being too hot or being too cold?
I hate being too hot. You can always layer extra clothes and blankets, but when I'm too hot, it's like I can't breathe. I freeze my husband out summer or winter.

2) Were you born in the winter or the summer?
I was born at the end of spring, beginning of summer, when everything is fresh and beautiful, but not to hot.

3) What are your favourite foods to eat when you need to warm up and cool down?
I love soup and hot drinks, all of the time; hot tea, cocoa, Americanos. Soft serve ice cream is another favorite, and one I will break my 'diet' for. I love ice cream and shakes, etc.

4) Which one are you more likely to suffer from- hayfever or flu- and does it run in your family?
My husband has bad hayfever, I have more indoor allergies (like mold). Respiratory illnesses tend to knock us both for a loop, but it's not a family thing for either of us.

5) You are granted a day of perfect weather whenever you like. What day do you place it on and why?
I don't know - hopefully day where I have the time and health to enjoy it.

This entry was originally posted at lyssac.dreamwidth.org. Please comment there using your OpenID / livejournal username.
Lyssa C
I thought that I had ovulated a few weeks ago, because I wasn't temping, and then had very bad PMS-like symptoms last week. Last night I started having stabby-type pains in my right ovary, occasionally shooting down to my cervix. They got worse as the day went on, until I was crying at one point during the morning at work.

I tried to call my Gyn this am, to get some BCP, for what was quickly becoming obvious was an ovarian cyst, but she wouldn't prescribe it, because it had been more than a year since my last PAP smear apparently. I did make an appointment with her for 17 December.

Meanwhile, the pain kept getting worse, and the girls at the lab were getting on my case to see the dr, so after I clocked out, I walked down to the emergency department. They got me in pretty quick. I didn't see the doctor very much, and it was obvious that gynecology wasn't a specialty of his, but he did examine me, and ask questions, and listen to me. The wait time to get my labs and everything clear was a little long, but I was able to get some sleep and that helped, and then DH showed up.

So, I got a month's supply of Ortho-cyclen, and 15 Lortab/Vicodin/Hydrocodone-APAP that was working wonderfully, but is starting to wear off half-way to my next dose. Also, since we haven't gotten Leland's insurance reinstated, it was kind of an expensive visit to the ER, and the out of pocket expenses for the meds, even as generics.

I'm really worried about money, especially since we are about $700 behind on our rent, and I haven't gotten a job yet. Also, this incident happened at the hospital that I am hoping will hire me, and I don't know if I will be up to going in in the am, or ifit will even be smart to do so, considering the pain could get much worse through the day OR I could take a three day weekend (that would reflect on my attendence/reliability).

Dx: dehydration & ovarian cyst
Prognosis: Medically, good with fluids, meds and rest. Personal life and employment prospects, TBD.

This entry was originally posted at lyssac.dreamwidth.org. Please comment there using your OpenID / livejournal username.
Lyssa C
04 November 2009 @ 03:32 pm
Suzy @ Not a Fertile Myrtle, posted today about why she blogs, in response to a response to a blog post about blog identity, and apparently, it is contagious, because I am continuing the trend.

I think it is human nature to want to connect, and for whatever reason, we can't always do that in our real (off-line) lives, sometimes because there are truths that we aren't necessarily ready to share with the general people who know us, but feel free to expose that part of ourselves on-line. Also, we want people to respond, to say "I understand," "I know what you mean," etc. I'm no different in that regard.

I first got on-line in 1997. The internet was a different place then, I am fond of saying, and it was, because everything was growing so exponentially and the internet bubble hadn't busted yet. There were HUGE on-line chat communities. They weren't much more advanced than current yahoo chatrooms in structure, but they were communities, in much the way journal sites like livejournal and social networking sites like facebook are now. The main one that I was part of was The Park. I actually met my husband there.

About a year and a half after that I discovered fan fiction. I love to read, to write, and to explore media, and I was able to link up with other people with similar interests. I joined mailing lists on onelist, then egroups, and eventually yahoogroups, as one company bought another. About the time yahoo started acting like the borg and gobbling up everything in sight (egroups, geocities, webrings, etc) livejournal was getting started, and people started migrating to it, and using communities in place of the mailing list. In 2003, I followed lemming-like.

It became a perfect fit for me, because the connections seemed more real, writers became people and it was easy to find new communities and forums by surfing friends of friends, and I wasn't limited to just talking about the topic at hand - as with most communities that had a strict 'no off-topic posts' policy. It helped me to open a dialogue.

However, even now there is a bit of division in my life. I still have that fandom based journal, but when I first became pregnant, I wanted a way to share my pregnancy with my grandmother who lives in California (and is my only real family) and yet, keep things separate. My fandom from my real life, for people in my real life and my real life from fandom, for those who while friendly didn't necessarily want to know the intimate details of my girl parts :)

This became even more when I decided to undergo fertility treatments and needed to vent and record my journey, and then another pregnancy and loss, and now, a way to share my stories both for my own peace of mind, but also to help provide support for other people who may be experiencing the same thing themselves.

It's all about connection.

My husband knows some of your names, because I talk about you and your troubles, and the ways that you have impacted my life. I don't always have the time or motivation to post, but even when I seem absent, I am often thinking of my blog and the things that I could be saying. My journals may be part confessional a la The Red Shoe Diaries, but it is real, and it's important; it's a part of my life that I would be hard pressed to ever let go of.

This entry was originally posted at lyssac.dreamwidth.org. Please comment there using your OpenID / livejournal username.
Lyssa C
03 November 2009 @ 05:24 pm
1) You do not have to have a be a Dreamwidth member to comment on any entry here, as this site accepts OpenID.

2) If you would like to join the site, then you are welcome to do so, and I will be happy to give and/or find you a code.
Here's 2 to start:

Comment if you take one, or need one.

3) Dreamwidth supports RSS and ATOM feeds. Most of my reading page consists of blogs on other systems:
alittlepregnant, annenahm, barrenblog, lostandfound, notafertilemyrtle, sassypantsmommy, stirrupqueens, etc. See the "Feeds" section of my profile to see my current subscriptions, and to follow those blogs for yourself.

4) You can also follow me via RSS or ATOM on your journal, or feedreader service (Google Reader, My Yahoo, Bloglines, Net Vibes, Newsgator). RSS ATOM. This is also a good way to group all of your favorite blogs in one place, if you are still visiting them one by one.

Questions, Comments?

This entry was originally posted at lyssac.dreamwidth.org. Please comment there using your OpenID / livejournal username.
Lyssa C
03 November 2009 @ 04:07 pm
Ok, most people would think I am crazy for loving playing with slimy, smelly, germy cultires of various body fluids and excretions, but I really am enjoying it, even if today was only my second day.

I also may have a line on a job, if the lab manager isn't sick of me yet. I keep going to her and talking to her about possible positions, and have made it very clear, that I am both extremely eager and extrememly desperate. Today, Diane, the head of the bloodbank made a suggestion that I should see about a PRN position, especially as one of the other employees is about to go on maternity leave.

There is a part-time/PRN specimen processing position open and I finish my micro rotation in about 3 weeks, which is about when Christie's maternity leave starts and Micro is her main department. I have my fingers crossed, so much, because it would get my foot in the door, and I would be working full time during the Christmas break, which is the same time that DH would be laid off, due to the school being closed.

I haven't had the best of luck job-hunting, because the positions keep disappearing. I really, really hope that something comes of this, but it will be a week or so before they even visit the question. I guess that's time to get my house in order (in the figurative and literal sense.

This entry was originally posted at lyssac.dreamwidth.org. Please comment there using your OpenID / livejournal username.
Lyssa C
02 November 2009 @ 11:03 pm
Nothing much is happening here, which is sad, because it really should be. I guess I am just down, as I mentioned before. Graduation is just a few weeks off. I am trying very hard to find a job, and DH and I are really really feeling the stress financially.

So, in honor of this: something silly that makes me smile.

This entry was originally posted at lyssac.dreamwidth.org. Please comment there using your OpenID / livejournal username.
Lyssa C
01 November 2009 @ 02:17 pm

Today starts the 30 posts in 30 days blogathon, and already, I fail. Well, I did remember to post today, so, I guess that's one thing, but I can't think of what to say.

Ironically, today is also the first day of National Novel Writing Month. This is the first time since 2004 that I haven't made an attempt to participate (though, that, like everything else you see here, is subject to change.

I'm kind of depressed about my approaching graduation, which is weird. I am so behind on my homework that I'm going to fail, if I don't get my butt it gear, and yet, I can't seem to do it. I also have not paid this semester's tuition, nor, can I afford to, and we are on the very edge of getting evicted for not paying our rent. We are so broke and the job I interviewed for (that I need to graduate for) fell through. Not, that they hired someone elso... The job just went away.

*sigh* Even I don't want to be around me, I am so depressing.

This entry was originally posted at lyssac.dreamwidth.org. Please comment there using your OpenID / livejournal username.