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04 November 2009 @ 03:32 pm
To Blog or Not to Blog, there is no question.  
Suzy @ Not a Fertile Myrtle, posted today about why she blogs, in response to a response to a blog post about blog identity, and apparently, it is contagious, because I am continuing the trend.

I think it is human nature to want to connect, and for whatever reason, we can't always do that in our real (off-line) lives, sometimes because there are truths that we aren't necessarily ready to share with the general people who know us, but feel free to expose that part of ourselves on-line. Also, we want people to respond, to say "I understand," "I know what you mean," etc. I'm no different in that regard.

I first got on-line in 1997. The internet was a different place then, I am fond of saying, and it was, because everything was growing so exponentially and the internet bubble hadn't busted yet. There were HUGE on-line chat communities. They weren't much more advanced than current yahoo chatrooms in structure, but they were communities, in much the way journal sites like livejournal and social networking sites like facebook are now. The main one that I was part of was The Park. I actually met my husband there.

About a year and a half after that I discovered fan fiction. I love to read, to write, and to explore media, and I was able to link up with other people with similar interests. I joined mailing lists on onelist, then egroups, and eventually yahoogroups, as one company bought another. About the time yahoo started acting like the borg and gobbling up everything in sight (egroups, geocities, webrings, etc) livejournal was getting started, and people started migrating to it, and using communities in place of the mailing list. In 2003, I followed lemming-like.

It became a perfect fit for me, because the connections seemed more real, writers became people and it was easy to find new communities and forums by surfing friends of friends, and I wasn't limited to just talking about the topic at hand - as with most communities that had a strict 'no off-topic posts' policy. It helped me to open a dialogue.

However, even now there is a bit of division in my life. I still have that fandom based journal, but when I first became pregnant, I wanted a way to share my pregnancy with my grandmother who lives in California (and is my only real family) and yet, keep things separate. My fandom from my real life, for people in my real life and my real life from fandom, for those who while friendly didn't necessarily want to know the intimate details of my girl parts :)

This became even more when I decided to undergo fertility treatments and needed to vent and record my journey, and then another pregnancy and loss, and now, a way to share my stories both for my own peace of mind, but also to help provide support for other people who may be experiencing the same thing themselves.

It's all about connection.

My husband knows some of your names, because I talk about you and your troubles, and the ways that you have impacted my life. I don't always have the time or motivation to post, but even when I seem absent, I am often thinking of my blog and the things that I could be saying. My journals may be part confessional a la The Red Shoe Diaries, but it is real, and it's important; it's a part of my life that I would be hard pressed to ever let go of.

This entry was originally posted at lyssac.dreamwidth.org. Please comment there using your OpenID / livejournal username.
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